my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
