I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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