where am i from again
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
