And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
