Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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