Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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