i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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