oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
