i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
