It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
