oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
