Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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