I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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