so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
