you traded sex for a burrito?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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