i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Your penis caused this!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
