I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
FUCK WHALES
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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