She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My bed smells like the plague
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
