I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
