This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
