nut hugger
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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