Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
