He is an equal opportunity slut.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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