glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
