I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
