He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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