but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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