Where is the hickey?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
