he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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