whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
