So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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