k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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