I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
