How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
