naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
