don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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