A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Couch. On fire.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
