I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
