Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
