I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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