My nipple is on Facebook.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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