There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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