I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
