Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
