i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
