I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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