What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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