Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
