STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
