I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We need to rekindle our bromance
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
