How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
