Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just want to make out with him forever
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
